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Day dates and when to ask the big questions?
Main Post:
Sorry, it's a long one!
I've got a third date locked down with a guy I like, hooray! My one question is that he's asked to meet mid-afternoon. I'm fine with that. We're going to do something, have a wander, then grab a bite. It's a cool date but I've realised it's kind of an awkward time on a Saturday and I'm wondering if I should keep that evening free too? I suppose it comes down to whether I want to, which I do, but I'll feel a little bummed if he's all ready to end the date by 8pm at the latest when I could've made plans to see friends. Anyone else do mid-afternoon weekend dates?! And is the day-date stigma still a thing?!
On another note I'm wondering how to tackle a couple of yellow flags, or indeed if it's yet time.
This guy just got done with an... ahem...unconventional romantic situation (judgemental read: shit show). He's been really open about it, which endears me to him, but I'm wondering how to bring up where he's at without seeming too pushy.
Basically he fell for someone from another country, they got married super fast (visa, said they wouldn't have married were it not for the legal stuff), and then proceeded, for all intents and purposes, to have an on-off, monogamous then poly (at her suggestion) relationship. Sometimes they lived together and sometimes they didn't. This went on for 7 years. He had a gf for the last 10 months alongside his wife who he broke up with a couple months ago when he and his wife finally called it quits on the relationship because she 'cheated' or transgressed some boundary they had agreed to. Sounds like it was a final straw type thing. His wife is with someone else now. His gf was a bit younger and I guess not primary partner material, and apparently fine with ending things.
He went into therapy over his domestic situation which he has referred to as 'stressful,' though he's not at all bitter toward his ex, and is still somewhat philosophical about open relationships and not conforming to societal norms just because, etc, etc. I have no idea if he's actually poly or ethically non-monogamous or if he tried it on for size because his marital situation was less than ideal, and in fact, never a conventional marriage. Maybe he doesn't have a clue either, which worries me, though I don't think we should be penalised for experiments in happiness. I asked him if he was poly, and he said he didn't think he 'was at the moment.' It could be bullshit but I didn't push it because it seemed too prying for a second date and I wasn't sure if I was interested anyway. Now I'm thinking I should enquire further. He mentioned something about being in thrall to a new person and focusing on them, which also makes me wonder what happens when the person is no longer new...
I've a pretty deep loyal streak and I'm convinced ethical non-monogamy and polyamory are not for me (I tried dating a man in an open marriage and it did not work - I told him this). So maybe I should just be upfront about what I know about myself? How would you broach this issue?
Similarly, he hasn't outright said he absolutely doesn't want kids but there might be an incompatibility there based on some things he's mentioned. I ONLY want kids if I'm in the most secure, loving, supportive relationship; I cannot see myself wanting one so badly I'd go it alone. I'm 35 and am stubbornly refusing to be rushed into settling by my bio clock! If I were to fall in love / trust someone though I'm thinking that desire to have a family would grow in me. I probably shouldn't be with someone for whom it is NOT nor ever will be an option. I need the possibility at the very least. When's a good time to throw that out there?!
TL;DR: do you keep evenings open when you schedule mid-afternoon dates on a weekend? Do day dates still have the 'low priority' stigma? How and when do you broach yellow flag compatibility questions? My guy has had open relationships and that model would not work for me. He also 'may' not want kids when I don't want to rule that possibility out. I like him and am curious to know more about him, so is a third date too soon to work this stuff out?
Top Comment: I’m a morning person. I’m most active, at my best, get the most done early/day time. I’m awake at 5:30-6am and asleep by 10:30pm with very little deviation. I don’t have a magic switch that on the weekends I alter this and stay up later. So for me, daytime dates are prefect. :)
Couples who met online first and then in person: what date do you consider your anniversary?
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Just curious. We met online in August, there was a specific date in September where we established that we were in a relationship, and we then met in person in February of the following year. We decided to make the day we met online our official anniversary date, but we also celebrate the day we met in person with similar importance. Unrelated, but we're engaged and discussing our wedding. I think it's fortuitous that our anniversary will be a weekend day for the next three years. It'll work out regardless of whether we elope in 2025 or make bigger plans out as far as 2027.
Enough about mine, though. I'm curious to hear what date(s) you celebrate!
Top Comment: We consider the day we met online our anniversary. I was all in from day 1, but we didn't "formally" establish that we were in a relationship until 3.5 - 4 months later. We've talked about it multiple times and he agrees that our meet date is our anniversary as that's when everything started, regardless of when it became official.
How rare is a same day meet on dating apps?
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I’m not out there trying to get same day meets / casual meets or anything like that. I’m purely wondering how rare is it that two people will match and meet the same day / same night. Does that happen to any of you guys out there?
Specifically for opposite sex matches here, as I understand quick meets are far more common in same sex matches
Top Comment: Non-existent in my case (m, 33). People are too busy and often end up cancelling even if you plan at least a week in advance. It doesn't help when half the matches are outside of your city or state.
Dating ideas for Day and Evening that don’t involve drinking. : FortCollins
Main Post: Dating ideas for Day and Evening that don’t involve drinking. : FortCollins
is it common for women to not ask about your day? : dating
Main Post: is it common for women to not ask about your day? : dating
If she hasn't replied all day, how to long to wait until messaging her again?
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Pretty much as title. Been messaging a girl on WhatsApp (initially Tinder) for the past week and a bit. Asked a straightforward, inoffensive question last night. Yet to receive a reply, but I know she saw it last night (WhatsApp read receipt). I'm paranoid, but I'm trying to resist the urge to message her again. The most logical answer is that she's busy or distracted by friends/family and that I should just wait it out. How long should I wait before messaging her again without seeming desperate and/or annoying?
Top Comment: You know this literally just happened to me after one of my dates with a girl. We had a good time, texted her a little and she took like a day to respond. Text each other again and does the same. Saw her in person and she still seemed into me so I'm like wtf. So I just dropped her. I'll just drop a girl who takes days to respond.
Should you always confirm a date on the day of? : dating_advice
Main Post: Should you always confirm a date on the day of? : dating_advice
No Valentines Day plans and we've been on 4 dates? : dating_advice
Main Post: No Valentines Day plans and we've been on 4 dates? : dating_advice